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| That many candles make a cake look like it is going up in blazes! |
Perhaps, one day my daughters will pick this up and read it. Perhaps, they will hear my writing more than the words they hear me say. Or, perhaps, it will serve as a reminder to me of the things that are important to me. Maybe, writing this list will even challenge me to be a better me.
40. Laugh every single day. It is a cliche thing to say, but when I surround myself with laughter, my life is so much better.
39. You are the company you keep. My mama used to say this to me when I was a little girl. So, I think that it is fitting to include it in my top 40 things I know. I know that when I surround myself with friends who encourage me to be better, then I am better. I am blessed with friends who I can count on in every single occasion of my life. They are good company. They feed my mind, my body, and my soul. I hope that I become almost as good as the company that I keep already is!
38. Take time for yourself. This one is one that I struggle with in this stage of my life. My days are filled with teaching, working with children at church, and being with my own children. Their schedules are packed. However, when I go too long without a good run or time to write or just a book to read, I find myself getting grumpier and grumpier. So, take time for yourself as often as you can. This helps you (me) enjoy all of the other time even more.
37. Read as much as you can. Pick up the book and read it. Facebook and Twitter reading don't replace the feel and experience of just reading a good book.
36. Play. I am not good at this one, but it goes with number 40. Kick the soccer ball, run in the backyard, get on the swing set.
35. Be kind. I find myself apologizing to my family the most because they are the people who get the brunt of my frustration. I get angry; I yell. We are all happier when I am kind. My kindness begets their kindness (it is contagious). So, just be kind. I am working on this. I am not perfect at it yet, but I do think I am improving. Yesterday, I heard someone whisper "Be kind" when the frustration point was reaching its max. I liked that technique....it was a pause and then a kind response. I need to try this.
34. Take the trip. Wherever the trip is, find a way to take it. When we travel, our eyes are opened to other people, foods, experiences. God gave us a great big world. See as much of it as you can.
33. Study. School is important. An education is perhaps one of the greatest gifts you can be given. The more of it you have, the more doors will open. Don't stop studying just because you have the degree. Keep working to learn more. Keep striving to become better.
32. Don't quit. When things get hard, it is easy to walk away. Don't. Quitting never makes better people.
31. Don't take friendship for granted. I have friends who have walked by my side for at least 30 of these 40 years. Sometimes, because I know they are there, I take them for granted. I am blessed to have them and it is up to me to let them know how dear they are to me.
30. Always have a dog. My dogs have been loyal, fun, and loving. They are the example of relentless love. When I have been sad, my dog has been by my side. When I was sick, she barely left me. If people were as good as dogs, the world would be a much better place.
29. Play games. It is easy to get in a routine of watching tv every single night. There is always something on (and if there isn't, well, Netflix). However, there is nothing better than a good board game to bring out the competition in the family.
28. I have heard it said that I should not sweat the small stuff. I always seem to sweat the small stuff, but when I can find a way not to stress over the little things, I do better at #35. So, it seems that this is a truth and wisdom. I need to work on this.
27. Enjoy all of the seasons. They each have a certain beauty about them. I think this is true with life too. There is beauty in infancy, childhood, and early adulthood. I believe that there will be beauty in this next stage too. I will appreciate all of the good that has been, but I will also strive to enjoy the season I am in now.
26. It is ok not to have all of the answers. I certainly don't know everything. However, I will seek answers to my greatest questions. Forever be a seeker.
25. I only have two hands (mama would say, "count em"). This is actually important. I cannot do all of the things. I was not made to do all of the things. I have two hands. I have to respect that of myself.
24. Go for a run. If you can't run, go for a walk. Do something to move your body (preferably outside). On a really good day, go with a friend.
23. Eat the chocolate and drink the coffee. You won't regret it (especially if you have done #24).
22. As often as possible, do something kind for someone you don't know.
21. Go to church. I know that I can be a Christian without being in church, but I am more committed to my faith when I am present and working in church. Be there. Be active. Share your faith.
20. Forgive yourself. I mess up every single day. So, it is imperatively necessary for me to offer myself forgiveness.
19. Forgive others. Holding a grudge does nothing good. It is also counter to what I believe as a Christian. Forgiveness is hard. However, my life is richer when I can forgive.
18. Find something you love and do that. I never thought I would be a teacher. I did not want to be a teacher. I used to organize the forum called "what to do with an English degree if you aren't going to teach!" Ironically, I love teaching. It is not what I thought I would do, but somehow, it seems that I was made to do just that. So, I will teach.
17. Remember your roots. I am my mother and father's daughter. I am a little bit Rubye and Hugh and a little bit Ruth and Ferrell. I am who I am because I have roots. I am thankful to be part of their legacy and denying the legacy would be denying myself.
16. Go to plays. Plays are the mirror of humanity. Go see them. They put a little bit of reality on stage for 2 hours and we become better people for watching it unfold. Going to a play makes you more empathetic. It is different from a movie (though that is an experience too) because anything can happen when it is live.
15. Be careful who you trust. Don't share everything with every person you know. Be careful who you open yourself up to because once you have shared, there is no going backwards.
14. Be picky. Be picky who you date and who you marry and who you befriend. Be selective and surround yourself with the best. I believe that I have, fortunately, done this and it has made my life so much better.
13. Practice contentment. It is hard in this world where everyone shares what new beautiful thing that have not to be envious. However, if you have a safe place to live and plenty of food on the table, you are blessed beyond measure. I struggle with this, and I often find myself being envious of others or having the "want" bug. It does me no good. Rather, when I can be grateful for what I do have, I am much happier.
12. Turn off social media at least some each day - especially during family time. This one will get me. It is so easy to spend time scrolling and looking at what others are doing/have (see #13). However, when I turn off social media, I can focus on what is in front of me - my children, my husband, my friends, my life.
11. Call home - regularly. When I was a little girl, I watched my mom call her mom every single day. Now, my girls watch me do the same (sometimes more than once). I hope that this will translate for them so that when they are grown, they will call me every single day too.
10. You are never too old to need your mom. When I was going through chemo, I didn't want to feel like I was dependent on my mom. The reality, though, is that I needed her here. Now, that I am well, I actually have some fond memories of my days of recovery (what I can remember) watching Downton Abbey with my mom. Additionally, now I find that I appreciate the time we get together even more (especially as life gets busier). So....the reality is, you are never too old or too independent to need your mom (or your dad).
9. Live in the moment. Don't miss what is precious in front of you for thinking about what has happened or what could happen. (I am guilty of this).
8. Look for messages around you. I know that this sounds weird, but I do believe that our spirits are guided by what is around us. Perhaps, it is a song on the radio, a phrase that is repeated by different people more than once, or a close friend's words, but there are messages that speak directly to our spirit. It is wise of us to pay attention.
7. Take your health seriously. We have been given the gift of medicine. It can prolong our lives. When something is off, don't ignore it. That is why doctors are there.
6. However, don't make every little thing a "thing." It is easy to be in crisis health mode all the time. Don't over-worry.
5. Be a friend. Be the person that your people know they can call upon and you will be there. Be wary of judgement. And, when you mess up, own it, and ask for forgiveness.
4. Work on your relationship with your family. Don't take it for granted. Tell each of the people in your family that you love them every single day. Say "I am sorry" when you mess up and forgive when they mess up.
3. Work on your relationship with God. Someone recently told me that he "did not think God had ever done anything for him." Just like any other relationship, this one requires time, patience, and energy. If I am not doing anything to grow spiritually, then I will not grow spiritually.
2. Have an "attitude of gratitude." Rev. Patton (one of my childhood preachers) used to preach on this regularly. I have been given a gift to see the truth in the saying each and every day is a gift. I have realized my mortality and now am given the gift of living the next however many years with an attitude of gratitude. I want to live with an attitude of gratitude for each day that I am given and for each experience that I have.
1. Love big. Most all other failures can be overlooked through the one act of love. Most books, plays, and stories have something to do with love. So, love big. "Love the Lord, your God with all your heart and mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself."
May the adventure continue.
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